Stopping Self-Sabotage


Ever struggled to get back to the gym when you came back from a vacation in which you had entirely to much fun? How about getting back to your normal eating pattern after the holidays?  

Trying to improve your self-care can seem difficult, impossible or even seem hopeless. You already have a full plate and just thinking about trying to lose weight stresses you out. You find a reason to beat yourself up. You get irritated and frustrated at yourself thinking about how bad you look.  

Self-care involves your mind, your environment, your emotions, your relationships, your time, and your resources. These all affect your physical health.

You won't act on the steps for self-care if you focus on judging yourself or react to your negative thoughts. 

This is self-sabotage. ln last week’s blog, I wrote about self-sabotage and how it can bulldoze into your life very quickly and effect your self-care.

Self-sabotage can put you in a bad mood, give you anxiety, and make you unhappy. You feel fatigued and uncertain.

These hot buttons have taken over. You soon realize that these bad thoughts and emotions need to change and they need to change fast. 

You tell yourself that you’ll change. 

You start to make progress but then it doesn’t work out. 

You look at that as a failure. 

You revert to indulgent and negative behaviors.

You are “going to get it out of your system”. 

You are going to go back to the gym and eat healthy come Monday.

Sound familiar?  

This indulgence and negativity are immediate relief from the negative behaviors. When you think about your actions, you get frustrated, unhappy, anxious, and uncertain. Guess how you react to these thoughts? You go back to the same behaviors. The merry go round starts all over again.  

How do you get over self-sabotage?

You must start to become aware of how you react. Awareness can make you manage those behaviors better.  

You probably eat fat-laden foods or sugary foods when you are stressed.

A tool that you can use to increase your awareness is to know exactly what foods you reach for when you are stressed.  Acknowledge that behavior and look at what caused you to engage in that behavior. What can you do to change that behavior?

You had a very long day at work. You are on your feet all day. By the time 4 pm rolls around, you get tired. You start to pick at the box of donuts that someone brought into the break room. You are aware that you are stressed, tired and your feet hurt. You become aware that grabbing the tasty donut is just a temporary fix to your discomfort. Because you became aware that the donut was a temporary fix, you decide to avoid the break room.  You used your awareness and you don't walk into the break room where the donuts are.  You take this awareness a step further and pack some fruit in your lunch. You keep the fruit in your desk drawer just in case you need it.  This should seem obvious to you but in reality, it’s hard to think of how to change behaviors when you are talking negative talk.  

When we are in a negative state of mind, it is very hard to remove yourself from that situation and think about what you need to change and how.  

This is were my skillset of coaching can work for you.  I understand what it takes to change the mindsets of people to get them to improve their health and wellness. I implement a mastery skill set to assist people to change their mindsets in my coaching and training programs. 

Before I begin coaching anyone, I will take them through an exploratory conversation phone call. I will help them see the gap where they are now in their level of fitness and wellness to where they want to be. They will see how big that gap is. The gap is where the action takes place.

Contact me for an exploratory phone call by emailing me at

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